CELEBRATION OF LIFE 12-14-10 at SINAI

A Celebration of Life will be held at Sinai Hospital on December 14, 2010.  The celebration will be in the Zamoski Auditorium from 12:15 pm until 1:30 pm.  All are invited!  The celebration will feature a slide show presentation as well as speakers to honor Rhonda's memory.

LISTEN TO THE FUNERAL ONLINE

The Sol Levinson Funeral Home Website (www.sollevinson.com) will have an audio recording of the funeral today beginning 30 minutes after the service.  This recording is available for the next 6 months.  To access the recording select the blue "Daily Funeral Schedule" button.  Select Rhonda's name from the list of funerals.  At the bottom of the Rhonda Fishel page select "Listen to Audio of the Funeral Service".  If you can't find the link, check the "Archive" section of the website.

RHONDA'S OBITUARY FEATURED IN BALTIMRE SUN TODAY

Here is a link to the article about Rhonda in the Baltimore Sun today.  The funeral will be held today followed by a gathering at Rhonda's brother's home.  Mickey is preparing her part of the service right this minute.  She seems to have more energy today...

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/obituaries/bs-md-ob-rhonda-fishel-20101123,0,2291512.story

UPDATE ON MICKEY

I imagine many of you are wondering how Mickey is doing.  She is understandably exhausted and sad!  She is in a rather reclusive place after what has been a month-long ordeal.  We were talking about it today and she said it was like running a marathon--continuously, for an entire month.  It seems to me that both Mickey and Rhonda have been running parallel marathons since Rhonda's surgery on October 25, 2010.

We have had many discussions of the many kindnesses and acts of love that have been shared with Rhonda and Mickey.  I know that Mickey truly appreciates these efforts and is grateful for the love, support, and help offered by so many of her friends, family, and colleagues.  She is just so tired and inward-focused now that she can't really convey her thanks--so I have appointed myself her representative in this regard.  So, on behalf of Mickey, I want to convey sincere thanks to every single person (and pet) who has given love, support, help, prayers, and healing energy.  And, just as importantly, I want to offer my heart-felt thanks to you as well!

SERVICES FOR RHONDA

Services for Rhonda will be at 3:00 PM on Wednesday, November 24, 2010 at
Sol Levinson Funeral Home
8900 Reisterstown Road
Pikesville, MD  21208
There is an online guest book at the Sol Levinson Funeral Home web site if you would like to leave a message for the family.  This is the link-- http://www.sollevinson.com/.  I am told that the online guest book will only be available until the time of the funeral.  Please feel free to use this blog to leave messages for the family at any time.

Following the services all are invited to the home of Rhonda's brother, Larry, and his wife, Nancy.
Dr. Larry and Nancy Fishel
15 Shaded Glen Court
Owings Mills, MD  21117

In lieu of flowers, contributions can be made to the Sinai Hospital Cancer Institute.
Sinai Hospital Cancer Institute
2401 West Belvedere Avenue
Baltimore, MD  21215

A Celebration of Life will be held at a later date at Sinai Hospital.  Details will be published on this blog as soon as they are finalized.

RHONDA PASSED

Rhonda passed away peacfully a few minutes ago.  A service will be held at Sol Levinson Funeral Home.   We will post details soon.  Thank you to all those who shared their love and support!

TURN, TURN, TURN

I have been writing this blog which might give some the mistaken impression that I am high tech... but such is not the case.  Just a few minutes ago my iphone suddenly began to play a song that Rhonda asked me to download for her while she was in the ICU a few weeks ago.  I didn't even know how to download a song until Rhonda, in one of her seemingly semi-lucid moments, asked for Judy Collins' Turn, Turn, Turn song. By the time I figured out how to download the song to my phone and started to play it Rhonda was no longer awake...  So, a few minutes ago that song just started playing from my phone.  I hadn't even used the music function of the phone since I downloaded Rhonda's request.  The lyrics just seem so poetic.  Rhonda could be quite poetic, especially in her presentations about giving and recieving bad news.

TURN, TURN, TURN (originally by The Byrds)

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time to build up,a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time for love, a time for hate
A time for peace, I swear it's not too late

THE END IS NEAR

To me, Rhonda seems to be slipping away more quickly than before.  She does not seem to be in pain.  She does not really acknowledge the presence of all the family and friends around her.  Mickey said that she feels Rhonda's spirit is making her way to her beloved Great Dane, Emmitt.  Very soon, she will be romping verdant grounds with Emmitt leading the way.  We will miss Rhonda so deeply yet draw comfort from the knowledge that she will be free from the pain of her body.

RHONDA IS GETTING NEW PAIN MEDICATIONS

The Seasons Hospice doctor came to see Rhonda this afternoon.  He has decided to change her medication to morphine for pain, versed for sedation, and zofran for nausea.  All of these will be delivered through IV
for maximum absorption.  We hope she will feel more relaxed and pain-free soon.  She will stay in the hospice inpatient unit for now.  Family and friends continue to visit and provide the loving presence that I think must be one of the best medicines for Rhonda!  Thanks to you all!

For everyone who signed up on the schedule to visit please feel free to come to the inpatient hospice unit to stay with Rhonda.  Your healing energy is so very welcome!

CALL FOR PICTURES FOR THE MEMORIAL

Mickey is in the process of gathering photos to use to make a video-slide show presentation to be used at Rhonda's Celebration of Life.  If you have photographs that you would like to contribute please email them to Mickey at npbarron@comcast.net.

IT'S 3:00 AM...

I just returned to Baltimore on Friday.  It was hard to see Rhonda in so much pain.  Because the pain just couldn't be adequately controlled, Mickey consulted with the Seasons Hospice emergency on-call staff and they decided to move Rhonda to the Seasons Hospice inpatient unit at Northwest Hospital.  She is in Room 1 on Floor 3.  It is likely that she will begin a different pain medication in the morning--possibly to methadone.  She is more comfortable now.

NOT MUCH CHANGE

Mickey said that Rhonda is about the same today.  She was able to sit up for a short while.  She seems comfortable much of the time but needs more pain medications especially if she is being moved.  Mickey believes that moving Rhonda between the chair and the bed may be causing too much pain so she is considering leaving her in the bed from now on.  Mickey has hired some day time help for the future because she was concerned about not having enough help and doesn't want to burden friends and colleagues too much.  This has been a long and difficult journey...

SPA DAY TODAY

Mickey told me that today Rhonda had a good and comfortable day.  Sarah, Mickey's cousin, gave Rhonda a full body massage right there in her hospital bed.  Then, they helped Rhonda stretch out all of her muscles--kind of like yoga in bed.  It was sort of like having a spa day at home.  I imagine this is the first time that Rhonda has had a spa day ever!

Rhonda is not getting out of bed right now.  She recognizes few people--although today she reconized Dr. Efron!.  She rests comfortably most of the time but occasionally needs additional pain medication.

THINGS I NOTICED: PART 2

I continue to reflect upon my experience in Baltimore.  I noticed the intimacy that Rhonda shares with her colleagues.  The devotion that I have seen from the people with whom Rhonda has worked has been truly remarkable. 

I watched Dr. Efron sitting with Rhonda, bathing the room with his gentle calm energy.  I was reminded of the times I heard from Rhonda the wonder that is Dr. Efron:  a man of  wisdom and compassion.  Rhonda, like her mentor, offered to her patients and co-workers compassion and wisdom. 

One day, while sitting with Mickey in Rhonda's ICU room, a woman who worked on the hospital
cleaning team came into the room to tidy up.  She tearfully recounted that Rhonda was the only person in the hospital who had ever asked her what motivated her to do her work.  It was truly touching to hear this woman sharing her experience of Rhonda's compassion--a story that began in 2002.

SHE STILL HAS HER WIT

Rhonda might seem like she doesn't "have her wits about her" but she still has her wit!  Mickey's cousin, Sarah, came from California for a few days.  She was telling Rhonda that people with cancer have a harder time letting go of trying to do everything for themselves because they are so used to having to fight the effects of cancer.  She suggested Rhonda try to let go a little when Rhonda got frustrated that she couldn't move around on her own.  Rhonda's sardonic reply:  "Easy for you to say!" 

Rhonda had a little more energy today.  She was able to sit up in a chair but couldn't walk to it even with help.  She doesn't always reconize people.  She is comfortable and well cared for by the Hospice home health aide, the overnight sitter, and all of the wonderful volunteers who have signed up on the Rhonda Schedule to come over.

THINGS I NOTICED: PART 1

Today I returned to Florida for a few days of work.  I was telling my partner, Patti, about all of the things I noticed while in Baltimore.  So, I decided to make a few posts about these things. 

I noticed how close Rhonda's family is to her and the way that they have devoted themselves to supporting her in these last days.  Her nephews--Eric and Robert and Matt--are so much like her.  They are polite and kind and gentle.  They are the human wheelchair lift for their father so he can make it up the steps to Mickey and Rhonda's home.  Rhonda's older brother Larry, in spite of his own struggles to recover from the auto accident, steadfastly wheels into her room for visits every day.  He even thought to bring his dog to visit yesterday.  The room was full of family and friends and Rhonda had not really acknowledged anyone--until Bethany the Lab entered the room.  Rhonda's eyes popped open and her hand reached out to pet that sweet chocolate furry head!

MONDAY: A LOW ENERGY DAY

Today Rhonda just didn't have the energy to get out of bed.  She is comfortable thanks to the efforts of so many of her friends and colleagues who are helping out with bathing, medication, IV's, and all the things she needs.  This is a tremendous help to Mickey as well!  Rhonda is not talking much now and may not recognize the people around her although I feel certain that she can still recognize the energy of love and support that she recieves with each visitor.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON

Rhonda continues to rest peacefully most of the time.  A number of visitors have noticed that she seems more relaxed now that she is at home.  She is spending more and more time asleep.  When she is awake she has been entertaining us with some interesting comments.  Sometimes I think that it would be interesting to be able to go inside her brain to see what she is thinking and feeling.  Today she started the day talking about rainbows!  She also said, "we could call it"---then, after a long pause-- "puppy love."  It gives me comfort to think that her internal experience may be colored by rainbows and the lyrics to a sweet and simple song about "puppy love."

MOZART KISSING RHONDA

Rhonda has had a lot of visitors today!  We all know how much Rhonda LOVES dogs--so it was particularly touching to see Sheri and Jane's German Shepard, Mozart, come to visit.  She reached right out to pet him and he gave her a great big kiss!  It just melted my heart!  Rhonda has so many friends--it is such a testament to her kindness!

SATURDAY WITH RHONDA

Rhonda is a morning person--her best energy is early on in the day.  Rhonda woke up in a chattty mood today.  She was able to walk around a little bit--she got her exercise!  She got worn out after this work out so she is now dozing.  She seems pretty peaceful now that she is in her home.

HERE'S WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU COME OVER

Mickey needs people to be here just in case she needs help moving Rhonda.  Most of the time Rhonda is dozing and semi-lucid.  Anyone who knows Rhonda knows how determined she can be.  So, if Rhonda wants to get up she IS going to get up!  If there are people here on "stand by" then Mickey can direct them on how to help.

Most of the time you can just enjoy hanging out with Mickey and Rhonda!

HOW TO USE THE SCHEDULE

Here are some tips for using the schedule link.
1.  Sign up in the blank spaces.
2.  If there is an X in the space that means that no help is needed but feel free to come over any how--the   more the merrier.
3.  If there is a name in the time slot feel free to come over any way--the more the merrier.

RHONDA IS HOME!

Rhonda spent her first night at home last night under the careful watch of her Florida friends (Kathy, Rhonda, Orit, and Lynda Lou).

NIGHT TIME CARE SCHEDULE
Mickey has arranged for night time coverage by a private home health agency but she would truly appreciate it if any one who would like to help out could come over during the night times as well.  This way she will be able to sleep knowing that Rhonda is being cared for by those that know and love her.  If you would like to care for Rhonda please check out the link on this blog to sign up for a time.

VISITS
Mickey welcomes any one who would like to stop by to visit at any time.  You don't have to sign up on the  schedule if you just want to come by and spend some time with Rhonda.  Please call ahead at one of the numbers listed below.
     Home     410-363-1353
     Cell        443-286-0194

RHONDA PREPARES TO COME HOME

We have started this blog to keep people updated on Rhonda's progress.  We are also using this site to coordinate the helpers so that Mickey can know who is going to be coming over to help out.